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Breaking
Up and Relationship Breakup Advice
Articles
Breakups & Relationship Articles
- Enjoy these articles, all intended to help you get over a breakup and feel
better today!
The DUMPED!
Break-up Survival Guide.
By Lisa Daily
Maybe you knew it was coming.
Maybe you didn't. You've been dumped.
So, other than moping around in your
pajamas, spending quality time with Ben & Jerry, what can you do? Well,
clear away that mountain of soggy tissues, and I'll tell you how to get through
the worst of it, the first 30 days.
Three things:
Take care of yourself. Give yourself
time to mourn. Move forward.
The first 48 hours.
The first 48 hours are the toughest.
Give yourself at least one full weekend to cry your eyes out, eat junk food
and lie around on your couch in a broken-heart coma watching sappy movies
or a kung-fu marathon. Try to throw a few comedies into the mix if you can,
laughter is good for you. If you want to be alone now, be alone. If you want
to be with friends, by all means, invite them to console you. Whatever you
do, don't call your ex. Don't e-mail your ex. Don't see your ex. Turn your
answering machine on and screen your calls. I'm not saying you should never
talk to your ex again, but give yourself at least a month or so to build
up your ego again. If you think you might be tempted, by all means, invite
a friend over to run defense and keep you away from the phone. Next, force
yourself to think of the relationship as over. I know that's tough right
now, but it truly is necessary. Grieve for what it was, and consider it dead
and gone.
The first week.
After your first 48 hours, it is important
to get off the couch and take a shower. Not just for hygiene reasons, (but
trust me, by this time you'll really need it) but because it's now time to
start taking action. Take down all photos that include your ex. If you need
to have a ceremonial snapshot torching, by all means, go ahead. Put all reminders
of your ex (letters, gifts, photos, etc.) in a box and stuff it way in the
back of your closet, or better yet, your garage - someplace you won't see
it on a regular basis. If you feel yourself starting to idealize your ex,
and feel the desire to call him or her, sit down immediately and make a list
of all the things about your ex that really annoyed you - the more humorous,
the better. Think hard, I know there's something.
· The way he gave the exact same
22-minute response to every single person who asked how his job was going
for three solid years.
· The psycho-squirrel noises she
made when she laughed.
· The cheap, ugly, green, plastic
phone he gave you for Christmas.
· The way she tried to hold in her
sneezes, producing that imploding, snorty noise instead.
Whatever you do, don't call your ex.
Start returning to your normal life. Take an extra 20 minutes with your
appearance this week. Sure, you may not feel like getting dressed at all,
but trust me, if you look good, you'll feel even better. Wear something that
makes you feel stunning or confident. Nothing smoothes the ragged edges of
a recent break-up like a few well-timed compliments. If your weekend on the
couch still shows in your face, put some tea bags on your
eyelids.
Make plans with friends for every Friday
and Saturday night for the next month, and stick to them. Get out and go
dancing. It may be the last thing you feel like doing, but you'll find it's
a fabulous release. The music and physical activity will make you feel tons
better. Speaking of which, exercise four times this week. Yeah, I know you
won't feel like it, but do it anyway. You need those happy endorphins that
exercise brings. Do a little bonding with your pals. Go to a basketball game,
or even bowling. Just get out of the house. One last thing for this week,
schedule a massage. You need it!
The second week.
Whatever you do, don't call your ex.
Make a detailed list of all your good qualities. Remember, you're a unique,
wonderful, person, and someone (probably several someones) will fall madly
in love with you, and you with them. Keep your plans with friends every weekend,
and by all means, do something physical, or humorous, like going to a comedy
club. Work out (three times this week, and for the rest of the break-up survival
period), go rock climbing, or dance like the Backstreet Boys in your living
room (nobody will see you.) Get your heart rate going. Aside from making
your body look good, you'll boost your mood as well. This week is all about
pampering yourself. Get a pedicure, or sit in the sauna. You've been through
a lot, and you deserve it.Spend some of your newfound time (and probably
extra cash, too) on something just for you. Guys, you may be feeling the
need for some type of electronic device you've been putting off. Now is the
time. Girls, all I can say is, SHOE SHOPPING! Treat yourself to a little
something nice this week, and every week for the rest of the
month.
The last two weeks.
Whatever you do, don't call your ex.
You're halfway through the black period, and the worst is over. This is when
you'll start easing back into your pre-girl/pre-guy routine. Be a little
selfish with your time, and do exactly what you want to do. You should be
focusing on taking care of yourself right now. Now is also the time to start
making long-range plans. Make two plans: One plan for a vacation (even if
it's three years away,) and one plan for your life. You have a clean slate,
what do you want to do? Go back to school? Become a rock star? Learn how
to make crawfish traps? No one is holding you back now. Write down your goals,
and the steps you'll need to take to reach them.
Holy Moly! Before you know it, the entire
month has gone by. You're through the thick of it now, and on the road to
recovery. Sure, you'll hit some bumps along the way, but you'll live through
this. You've made it this far, and you'll be a stronger, wiser person because
of it. Someday, you'll meet someone who will love and appreciate you for
the amazing person you are. And this break-up, which is so awful now, will
just be one forgotten U- turn on your path to true love.
***Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting
Dumped! 15 Time-Proven Methods To Meet And Keep The Man Of Your
Dreams.
About.com's Dating Guide raves "intelligent"
and "very humorous."
To order, visit
http://www.stopgettingdumped.com
For help healing the pain of abandonment, click
here!
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To
Love Yourself!
"IT IS REWARDING
to find someone you like, but it is essential to like yourself. It is quickening
to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is
indispensable to view yourself as acceptable. It is a delight to discover
people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love, but it is vital
to believe yourself deserving of these things. For you cannot live in someone
else. You cannot find yourself in someone else. You cannot be given a life
by someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the
only one you will never leave or lose. To the question of your life, you
are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only
solution."
~JO COUDERT , American writer
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