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"If
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Breaking
Up and Relationship Breakup Advice
Articles
Breakups & Relationship Articles
- Enjoy these articles, all intended to help you get over a breakup and feel
better today!
Prescription for a Broken
Heart
Being heartbroken is a
pain that no one can understand until they have experienced it for themselves.
You obviously have, therefore are aware of how fragile your heart is right
now. Healing a broken heart will take time, but is not impossible, though
it may feel that way at the time. It is never an easy process to go through,
but with the right prescription, you will be on your way to recovery and
happiness again.
The first thing you should
keep in mind is that it is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened
and that you are not stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel
sad and cry after a break up. You have invested most of your time and all
of your love and interest into your ex-partner; therefore will go through
a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not grieve all on your
own. Sure, there will be times when you will just want to be alone and
undisturbed. However, it is important that you talk to your friends and family
about it. Talking about it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart
quicker because you will release the thoughts and facts that are hurting
you so much. Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as well
because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and understandings
of what happened. It will help you gather your strength, pick yourself up,
and find the happiness you deserve to have.
Accepting the fact that
you and your ex-partner are no longer together is a necessity if you are
going to start mending your broken heart. If you catch yourself unable to
function due to constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or
visiting him or her for another chance, then chances are you are suffering
from love addiction and should seek counseling. Discontinuing a serious
relationship is emotionally challenging and can drive you to do things that
are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas,
keep yourself occupied. Go out with your friends and family to help get your
mind off the break up. It is best to spend as less time alone as you can
in the first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can slowly and
patiently form back into their normal pattern.
Fight the thoughts that
tell you that you are a failure and are to blame for the end of your
relationship. When a relationship ends it means that the two of you were
no longer compatible and that always takes two, not just you. Instead of
beating yourself up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship
by listing the things you enjoyed most about it and then the things that
disappointed you and what you believe really caused the breakup. Look at
the relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to improve your
relationship skills, and a way to realize what you truly need and want from
a romantic relationship.
Learning to forgive yourself
and your ex-lover will speed up the healing process for the reason that you
will feel more peaceful and calm about it. Hating your ex will only build
up tension and stress in your life, causing your emotions to slow down from
getting back to order. One way to avoid bitterness against your ex-partner
is to look at the breakup as a favor. Appreciate their honesty of no longer
wanting to pursue the relationship, instead of giving you high hopes for
a possible future together. It is always an advantage to exit a relationship
that had no chances to survive than to be misled.
Conquer your fear of being
alone. You need to help yourself understand that it is not abnormal to be
on your own and that your values come from who are rather than whom you are
with. Teach yourself that there is more to life than romantic relationships
by spending quality time with your friends and family. Learn more about whom
the other people in your life are and introduce more of yourself to them
as well. Go out and do things together and treat yourself to something you
enjoy, whether it is your favorite restaurant, shopping, going to the movies,
or anything else. Learning to you be your own best friend will not only improve
your relationship with yourself, but with others as well. As you begin to
discover the other beauties of life and yourself, you will become more stable
and stronger to face anything that crosses your path, such as a new relationship
in the future.
Before you consider entering
another relationship, take a step back and ask yourself why you want to do
so. Make sure that you are not entering a new relationship on a rebound.
This will only leave you with unfinished emotions and you will never have
closure from your former relationship. Never begin a new relationship because
you are afraid of being on your own, or feel the need to just be in a
relationship. Form a relationship with someone new because you feel strong
and secure on your very own and feel that you are ready to attempt a new
romance. Take it one step at a time and keep in mind of what your needs and
desires are from a person and observe closely to see if they show signs of
the qualities you are looking for. As soon as you notice that he or she is
not, then get out of it as soon as possible. Learning from your previous
relationships will come in very handy because you will be able to prevent
similar situations in the future, leading you to meeting the people who fit
your description of a perfect partner.
Lastly, remind yourself
that love is a wonderful feeling and experience and should not be generalized
based on your past experiences. Do not use facts about your ex as a way to
judge new people in your life. Leave your past behind you and focus on moving
ahead. Get to know new people for who they are, not by comparing them to
others, what they are not, or what they could be. Once you have observed
their personality, values and everything else, trust yourself to make the
right decisions without constantly doubting yourself. If you wish to try
having a new relationship, then do so. If you do not however, then do not
feel guilty to kindly walk away from the situation. You would be doing both
you and the other a person a huge favor and saving time and emotions from
being hurt. You have nothing to fear or worry about. After all, there will
always be one person who will always love you, appreciate who you are and
be there for you. . . and that is YOU.
Alina Ruigrok is an independent
relationship expert for
http://www.love-sessions.com helping
those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal
advice through e-sessions and telephone.
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To
Love Yourself!
"IT IS REWARDING
to find someone you like, but it is essential to like yourself. It is quickening
to recognize that someone is a good and decent human being, but it is
indispensable to view yourself as acceptable. It is a delight to discover
people who are worthy of respect and admiration and love, but it is vital
to believe yourself deserving of these things. For you cannot live in someone
else. You cannot find yourself in someone else. You cannot be given a life
by someone else. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the
only one you will never leave or lose. To the question of your life, you
are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only
solution."
~JO COUDERT , American writer
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